"Oh darling, welcome to womanhood!"

My cousin remembers these words well when she informed her mother that she had started menstruating in her early teens. She was mystified about why her mum had said this. As far as she was concerned, she was still very much a girl and there was no woman involved! Of course, in the golden days of Henry V, when people passed away by the age of 35, it was acceptable to be married and bearing children at 13. How times have changed! May I add, thank goodness.

Anyway, prior to this announcement, my aunt had never brought up the subject. There was no mention of the physical or emotional changes that a female goes through at such a tender age. All that my cousin learned about the process came from school peers. However, her mother did present a pack of sanitary pads she had put away for the 'occasion'! Not like she hadn't thought about it, at least!

Dealing with it

My cousin still laughs at the ridiculousness of the occurrence. "She should have told me about it, like it's normal." Dealing with this issue was clearly something my aunt did not know how to. Perhaps, this stemmed from her old-fashioned upbringing, whereby her parents did not discuss such topics.

Which brings me to a point that I will continue to make throughout this column. Parents, please communicate with your children. For certain, it is considered to be Mommy's job to talk about female affairs. But if you are a single dad raising a girl, the onus falls on you, my friend.

A girl typically enters puberty between the ages of eight and 12. Menstruation will probably come on within two years of when she starts developing breasts. I'd say it would be a good idea to bring up the subject before you think the time has come! Be mindful of the way in which you do this. It could be humiliating for your daughter.

Preface the 'lecture' with thoughtful words such as: "I am aware that this might be awkward and that it's your body, but I want to tell you what is going to happen to you, most likely soon. It can be rather surprising if you don't know about it." After you've given her the facts, end your speech with something like: "I am here for you if you ever want to talk about this. When you do get your period, it's up to you if, and when, you want to tell me. I'd like you to realise that it's nothing to be ashamed of, but I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable discussing it with me." In short, be respectful towards her privacy.

My advice

For all you girls out there, here's my advice to you on the matter. Allow your parent to be a parent. Some of you might get annoyed with her, or him, much of the time, but it's the job of parents to nurture and prepare us all for adulthood. They don't know everything, true. They have been through many experiences which you have not, true again. Let them tell you the facts. As I said before, it's a private point involving your body, when puberty and periods do kick in, so if you then choose to keep it your little secret, that should be fine. Your mom did go through the same thing though, so do feel free to bring it up. If you're not at ease talking to an adult, then why not broach the topic with your female friends? Whatever happens, try not to feel too embarrassed about it, period.

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POSITIVE Parenting

For girls:

1. Do not be ashamed of your menstrual cycle. It's completely natural.

2. In your own time, tell your mother, father, or both.

3. Talk to your girlfriends about it. You'd be surprised how helpful it is to share such things with those who are going through them as well.

For parents:

1. Keep a packet of sanitary pads and a box of tampons in your cupboard for when your daughter(s) start their periods.

2. Tell your daughters about menstruation, reiterating that they are to feel free to talk to you about it, if they wish.

3. It's not your body, so respect the wishes of your daughters when it comes to their menstruation.