By now you would have heard about the divorce case in which the husband wants back the kidney he donated to her when she needed it.

The story also says the relationship was in trouble and he did it as a way to try to improve things. Well, on the face of it, he sounds like a real jerk (and a doctor too), but he seems to have solid reasons for the change of heart. The question is, should individuals in relationships return gifts (in cash or kind), after a break-up?

I actually think men who give women gifts and take them back after the relationship turns sour ought to have their heads examined. And that goes for women too. According to the experts, the only things you should really try to get back after the love has gone are family heirlooms. Serves you right because such treasures should be reserved for those who actually get a wedding ring, or for the children!

There are also a few legal arguments about returning wedding gifts if the marriage lasts only a few months but as far as I am concerned, gifts exchanged during the heat of love and passion should be kept by the recipients.

So if the man wants it all back after you are no longer in love, think: stingy, mean, tight, low and all other synonyms in between. If women want back their gifts, I have one word for them and it rhymes with witch.

But the bigger picture is that single women can stay ahead of the game by not going overboard when they spend on their men. Never try to outdo him, even if you can. Gauge his spending pattern and match it or stay just a little below. Remember that men have a lot of pride and ego and the real ones do not take kindly to coming off as your charity case.

On the other hand, if he can afford Godiva chocolates and gives you a dozen icy mints, that is a warning sign, especially if he does so regularly. If he's well heeled and comfortable for life and you are not feeling the effects, someone else is.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com