Well, if you're just tuning in to planet Earth or waking from a yearlong coma, there's a big event going on tomorrow.

Barack Hussein Obama, the first African-American president-elect of the United States of America, will be sworn into office and I am looking forward to that like it's the World Cup final. If our good friend Barack (and we hope he'll be a good friend to Jamaica), really wanted to turn heads, he should wear something from Phat Farm, thus bigging up another successful black man, Russell Simmons. The hotel rooms have been booked for weeks. I was invited but with my busy (yeah, sure) schedule, I just couldn't fit it in. No visa is also a hindrance, but I digress. I actually have some tips for the inauguration.

Short speech

People already seem to love Obama so if he wants to keep the love coming, make the speech short! Historic moment, yes, but nobody likes long speeches (except Fidel Castro, and I suspect that's only because he's usually the one giving them).

Also, Barack might want to throw in the Usain Bolt move at the end of the speech. It might help, and then he could always let off a little something to Usain for royalties (after all, he should be making a few more dollars now as 'pres').

Obama might also want to try some jokes. It would be more Bill Cosby than Chris Rock though; can't have all that profanity.

After the inauguration, instead of some formal banquet eating crab cakes or some other 'interesting' dish, he should have a cosy cook-out with real food like hot dogs and burgers, nuff beer, diet soda for the children (cut down the sugar) and some 12-year-old scotch for the more seasoned imbibers.

Invite some sensible performers like John Legend and play some nice grooves for everybody to move their booties (Wonder if Joe Biden has rhythm?).

Start kicking butts

And then, the very next day, start kicking butts to show everyone that you mean business. Now that would be an auspicious start. Would it be mean if somebody played Hit The Road Jack and dedicated it to Bush?

Seriously, what I'm most glad about though is that barring some unforeseen mishap between now and the event, I will be able to see it happen. I, like those of my 'gingeration', did not see Dr Martin Luther King Jr's famous speech or Rosa Parks' defiance. But we have seen Nelson Mandela go free, the fall of the Berlin Wall and now we'll see Barack Obama sworn in as the first African-American president of the USA. Not a bad collection of events, I think!

Swear me in at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.

Kelly