Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | January 26, 2009
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Building your child's self-confidence
Taniesha Burke, Contributor


Children in this 2008 file photo, in an obvious lesson on heritage, are dressed in African-inspired clothing, while posing beside similar garments. This, during Silverstone Basic School's Heritage Week celebrations on the school grounds, Silverstone, Portmore, St Catherine. - Anthony Minott/Freelance Photographer

As parents we want the best for our children. It is our desire to see them achieve all their dreams and become competent human beings. As such, we are constantly searching for techniques and practices which we can implement to ensure they become the best they can be.

One quality children must possess to become the best they can be is high self-confidence. This is the belief that they can cope with failures, achieve goals and handle themselves well in various situations. In essence, it is the belief in their abilities.

Through our love and guidance in everyday activities our children can become self-confident. Here are five suggestions to aid the process.

1 Give your children the independence to make decisions

Depending on their age you can allow your children to make decisions about activities such as where to eat or what to wear. In the decision-making process the children should be given at least two options. Also allow your children to play games that encourage decision-making such as board games.

2 Never criticise your children - instead, criticise their behaviour

We are often guilty of saying negative comments to our children such as 'You are rude' or 'bad'. Such comments cause them to not value themselves. As the parent, you have to separate children from their behaviour. When correcting your children's bad behaviour you should criticise the behaviour and explain the reason it is bad.

3 Ask your children for their opinion

Similar to adults, children have an opinion on what goes on in their environment. When you ask children for their opinion they learn to express their views, which develops their communication skills and shows that you value them as human beings.

4 Never allow your children to criticise themselves

Ensure that your children criticise their behaviour and not who they are. When children criticise themselves they eventually begin to criticise themselves in every action. This leads to children who have low self-worth, making it difficult for them to believe in their abilities to overcome challenges.

5 Repeat positive statements

For children to be self-confident they need to believe in themselves. This means that they need to have thoughts that build self-confidence. To develop this you can ask your children to tell you one or two positive things about themselves each day. For example, "I am a success", "I am beautiful", "I am a leader", "I am full of grace and integrity", "I am strong", "I am creative" or "I am bold". Repeating such statements resonates deep within the core of your children helping them shine in their actions and words.

Parenting is a challenging and joyous process. With dedication to this process we can raise children who are not only successful, but who are also self-confident.

Taniesha Burke is the author of the book 'Raising the Next Barack Obama: A Guide to Develop Core Principles For Success in Your Child'. She is also the CEO of Preston Childcare Services. She can be reached for comments at taniesha.burke@prestonchildcare.com or www.prestonchildcare.com.

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