My best friend has a 17-year-old daughter. She's a final-year sixth-form student who does not lift a finger to help around the house, not even to tidy her own room!

We were having a conversation about the difficult times and she revealed that she'd have to fire her helper because her daughter's father had lost his job and she would have to do more on less.

A single mother, my friend said the additional housework would be rough. I blurted out, "Use mommy's 17-year-old helper." We stopped speaking for a short time, but our friendship means more to us than any disagreement so we have settled the issue and moved on. But I decided to speak up because I could stand it no longer. I had to butt in and ask her why she was raising her daughter to be a 'wutless woman'.

This is because even with a washing machine, the girl cannot wash her own clothes (including underwear), she cannot fix a sandwich or brew a cup of tea (but she can order a pizza). She does not know how to clean her shoes, she has never ironed her own uniform and she has no clue about tidying the house. But she studies all the time and gets excellent grades in school. Thank God, she can bathe herself, do her hair and use the phone/computer/iPod.

I told her it was not too late to teach her daughter to help with the chores. She hesitated but when I explained that even if her daughter grows up to have the resources to hire an army of helpers around the clock, it was good for her to actually know what to expect from them. Far too many helpers vent their anger (in horrible ways) on their clueless bosses behind their backs.

Teach them

So, as we all contemplate our collective futures with a little less money for extras, it's time to teach our children (boys too), to be responsible by simply helping out. In short, teach them to be 'RESPONSE-ABLE'

In high school, for over a term, I had one uniform blouse because my parents could not afford to buy me a second one. And I had three other siblings in high school at the same time. I washed that white blouse every afternoon, hung it behind the fridge to dry, then ironed it for school the next morning. And it had no yellow sweat marks under the armpits, like I see on several men in boardrooms nowadays.

Many chores

On weekends, I did many chores too; so today, when my one-day-per-fortnight helper does rubbish, I immediately show her how it's done. In retrospect, sometimes I think my folks breached the child labour laws but I have no regrets. I did it all and still passed my exams. Today, chores have been replaced by extra lessons and the children are not getting all the benefits of a well-rounded education.

Yes mothers, you are doing your children a disservice. So starting today, teach them how to survive; just in case.

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