Though a rocky marriage can be challenging to repair, couples should choose communication rather than divorce, an expert has said.

Anthony Gordon, certified family-life counsellor at the Central Jamaica Conference of the Seventh-day Adventist, said marriages that are getting sour could mean be an indication that partners were never prepared from the initial stage for the union.

"The first thing a couple should do when looking forward to entering into a committed life is to get premarital counselling from a certified counsellor," Gordon told The Gleaner.

A good support system is also required to make the marriage a success.

"As much as the couple may get counselling, they need support from family members, church members and community members because marriage is not exclusively for the husband and wife as it impacts the lives of others," he informed.

The expert said honesty, which is one of the most important elements of the marital union, must be part of the relationship.

Good relationship

"Honesty begins with persons being honest to themselves then the two can be honest with each other, because if you can't trust yourself, no one will be able to trust you," he advised.

The counsellor recommends a childlike relationship as an excellent way to have a good relationship.

"For a husband and wife to weather the storm out on the sea, they have to have genuine, childlike friendship," he declared.

Christian principle is another important component to keep the relationship going.

"The man must have a relationship with God and the woman must have one too, then the marriage would be set in God's principles," he stated.

And, in addressing the problems surrounding the failing marriage, both partners must cooperate with each other, he said.

One ideal situation is to sit together and discuss the problem and search for solutions together.

"In the discussion between the partners, they should allow each other to open up and let the problem be known," he said.

Having gone through a series of internal meetings with the relationship still on the edge, with no hope of getting better, the professional said the couple should seek counselling from a certified marriage counsellor or family therapist.

"At this point, the two persons have to come to a mutual understanding that they need to seek professional help because nothing they try is working," he said.

However, he cautioned that special care should be taken when seeking assistance from a counsellor because not all persons claiming to be counsellors are properly trained.

nadisha.hunter@gleanerjm.com