Dear Counsellor:

I've just had my first child and feel overwhelmed by the caregiving responsibilities. I worry a lot and am not sleeping well.

- Janet

Dear Janet:

Congratulations on your gift from God. It will fill you with happiness and joy. Most new mothers feel overwhelmed with the responsibility for a baby. Don't feel ashamed as you are not alone.

Some mothers get depressed after delivery. Trust your instincts and know that you are acting in good faith. Babies require a lot of one-and-one contact. You need to speak to your baby even though she cannot, at this time, respond intelligibly. She is hearing your voice and will come to recognise and understand it.

Laugh with her, smile with her and encourage her. Each day your baby is learning and developing. Early stimulation of infants is important.

Sometimes the mother becomes depressed and doesn't interact with the baby. The mother may become anxious, fretful and self-absorbed. If you are feeling like this, you need to speak with your obstetrician, who will deal with the problem or refer you to a psychiatrist.

Ten to 20 per cent of new mothers develop post-partum depression and this condition is treatable. Who is helping you with the baby? Your spouse or relatives should be encouraged to help you.

Babies grow very fast. Soon you will have a toddler to deal with. Your task is to teach, motivate, protect and reassure your little one. There are many books written on parenting. I guess you would have read these when you were pregnant.

As a mother, you will have to set limits and rules for your child as she grows. Start early and do it in such a way that she can grasp it as she ages. Her spirituality is also important, so whatever beliefs and values you have should be shared with her.

Be aware that your actions and words will be patterned by your daughter. You are her first and most important role model. Show her lots of affection, with plenty of hugs and kisses. Speak words of encouragement and endearment, not ridicule.

Pray for her daily. Best wishes.

Dear Counsellor:

I am bothered by terrible headaches. They are relieved by using painkillers. I would like to be rid of these headaches.

- Nicholas

Dear Nicholas:

Headaches are caused by a variety of conditions. You need to see a neurologist to assess the location of the pain and do the necessary investigations. Headaches can be caused by easily treated conditions or more serious illnesses such as brain tumour. What causes concern in individuals is that the headache can be caused by bleeding in the head or brain tumour.

Headaches should be taken seriously and so individuals need to check with their doctor. Some people worry a lot about their headaches, especially migraines. It is important to remember that depression and anxiety may coexist with persistent headaches.

Reviewing one's medical history is critical to understanding your condition, so think about the factors that make the headaches better or worse. You should be able to describe the location, the severity and the type of headache. Think of what is associated with the headache. Headaches are treatable, so see your doctor.

Email questions about personal and family issues to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@hotmail.com or phone her at 978-8602.