The holidays are here again. For many, it is a wonderful time of the year. It's a time for celebration — many of us are busy planning office parties, family visits and other social activities.

Expectations are also high. Children are expecting gifts and special friends are expecting your invitation to a party or a present. The holidays are also a busy time. Many people are caught up shopping and decorating their homes for their expected guests.

But in all the festivity, you will find that for quite a few people, this is a stressful time. The celebrations, expectations and increased demands on time and resources put many people under stress. This year is also a difficult one for many people, and for many reasons. The recession is beginning to take a toll — some people have lost their jobs, homes or seen their source of income reduced.

Financial constraints

We are all operating under financial constraints and we will never be able to meet all the expectations. Just last week I had to catch up with myself. The requests from those in need were just too many. It seems as if this year there is a lot of pain and need, more so than in previous years.

The holidays can be a difficult time for those who have lost loved ones. Holidays remind us of our childhood and of family and friends. As we celebrate and come together as family, many painful memories are evoked. We then have to face the reality that a friend, relative or family member who has migrated or died is no longer around.

There are also people who suffer from seasonal affective disorder who just get sad and depressed at this time of year. It can be very difficult for these individuals.

Tips for surviving the holidays

1. Manage the expectations. We cannot be everything to all men and women at this time. Accept the fact that we are going through a recession and we cannot operate as we did previously. Do not feel guilty and don't allow others to make you feel guilty if you cannot respond to their needs at this time.

2. Celebrate in a different way. Sometimes it is difficult to relive the past. You will not be able to bring back family and friends who have passed on. Call up new friends and visit other family members. Do not wallow in pain and self-pity. As difficult as it may be, try to celebrate.

3. Budget, budget, budget! Remember, these are hard times. The economy may get worse before it gets better so be realistic in your spending. Operate on a strict budget and if you cannot pay with cash, think before you make that purchase.

4. Spend more time caring for others, visiting and showing love. There are many people whose lives would be blessed by a visit, a kind word or deed. Let us reach out a little more this holiday.

5. Remember to take care of yourself. Amid the hustle and bustle of the holidays, remember to take it easy and take care of yourself.

Have a happy holiday season.

Dr Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and head, Section of Psychiatry, Department of Community Health and Psychiatry, University of the West Indies, 977-1108; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.